Yes, we have survived another LAC weekend. Finally. Go, us!
The author has a first draft of Stalemates, and we’re hoping for a release later this month or early November. I rather like where the book left us, so I think we shall be quite content here while she sees about editing … as long as she doesn’t edit us off the pages, that is.
Ha! Roz looked away, and I nabbed Chapter 2. May posting this one serve as dynamite up the literary buttock. Although, she did finally write the line that opened the door to the next leg of our journey. We are on the move once again.
Fifteen minutes later, we slid into the huge corner booth at Stacked. The word “coffee” resounded seven times, and Earl’s name tagged along for the ride to the waitress’ order pad. Claudia’s hand came to rest on my thigh, and I placed my own over hers. At least for the moment, life proved good.
We studied the menu, mindful to stay on gift-certificate budget, in case the game came down to that ten bucks I had been foolish enough to dwindle.
Soon, the waitress returned with several carafes. The word “pancakes” resounded seven times, and “tofu scramble” hitchhiked without incident.
Coffee was poured, and we drifted into an agreeable silence. Collectively, we seemed to insist the occasion was ordinary, that we were not in the clutches of riddling professors—clutches so tight they could have strangled our reality, if we let them. Yet, all the while, everyone’s eyes flitted among the many patrons in that restaurant, no doubt looking for the pawn we were certain was there to give us a clue. With my back to the room, I did my spying via the massive mirror on the wall, and not a damn thing caught my attention.
When the food arrived, we intently ate, again appearing as though we hadn’t a care in the world. Once sated, we quickly stacked our dishes and slid them to the outside of the table, and a perceptive busboy appeared and took them away. Seconds later, the waitress showed up with more coffee. She placed the bill tray on the table, which Laura, holder of the almighty gift certificate, immediately pulled in her own direction.
Daring to hurl us back to Ginny and Kris’ world, Janice asked, “Anybody have any idea what we’re up against?”
“Chess.”
“Through the Looking-Glass.”
“Both.”
“First, I think we have to figure out how to make the map into a chessboard,” Maggie said and tossed the thing in my direction.
I agreed and spread out the map on the table. “Does anybody have a pencil?”
A few affirmed possession and seized purses, but Janice loudly said, “You might do best to use mine. My instructions said to bring a notebook and a pencil. No flippin’ clue why, but here it is.”
A toss and a roll brought me the pencil. A stretch and a tilt brought seven surveyors with a keen interest in a hometown that suddenly felt foreign.
“Grant Avenue and Lancaster Street,” I said with an eventual stab. “We’re here.” I drew an X on the spot. “This is e1.”
“So are the chessboard squares buildings or blocks or what?”
Laura quickly rattled off the other businesses on the block, six in all, and it seemed obvious we weren’t talking buildings.
“Shit, it is blocks.”
“City blocks.”
“Eight city blocks by eight city blocks.”
“Sixty-four blocks? You’ve got to be kidding!”
“We can’t walk sixty-four blocks! We’ll die.”
Okay, I’ve been flirting with kleptomania again, but at the rate Roz is going, I didn’t see much choice. May posting it is serve as a firecracker up the literary buttocks.
“Just get out!”
“Seriously?”
“You’re just going to dump us here?”
“Get out before the light turns green!” From the passenger seat, she thrust a white bag at Susan and directed, “Give this bag to Dolores.”
“Dolores who?”
“Dolores! Now get out! The light’s going to turn!”
Stupefied, we did as instructed. Although it would have been simple not to do so, defying Ginny ranked right up there with playing in traffic. If you valued life, there were some things you just didn’t do.
The window lowered, and her head craned out. “It’s supposed to be a beautiful day. Enjoy it! But for Pete’s sake, behave yourselves!”
And the blue van sped off. It didn’t appear to be shaking with laughter, but still, I figured it was.
It was barely nine-thirty on a Saturday morning, a Lesbian Adventure Club day, and there we were: dumped at a stoplight under a highway overpass on the city’s outskirts.
We gaped down the street until the van disappeared from sight.
Laura queried, “Did you ever notice how they always get rid of us?”
As custom dictated, we exchanged inquisitively pissy glances.
“Yeah, last time they had us running all over town.”
“Backwards!”
“Yeah, and the time before that, they had us running all over the county.”
“You’re right, babe.”
“They don’t like us very much, do they?”
All eyes, all hanging jaws aimed again down the van-less street.
“All right, so what do we do?”
Woohoo! We’ve got a title, a cover, and a release date! The Queen of Terrified & The Newly Brave Landowner will be available as an ebook in the LAC bookstore on April 28th. That would be next Wednesday for all you calendrically-challenged ones, and a full moon to boot.
We are back, having survived a trip ten years back in time. The author has finished writing what most of you deem “how the nerd got the cheerleader.” She has rewrites to do, but hopefully in early May, it will be fit for public consumption. Then, we can pick up where we left off in LAC 11.
In the meantime, the first chapter follows…
Shit!
In my mind, the word possessed enough volume to put my every nerve ending on high alert.
I made another study of the paper I held, as though it would somehow alter the moment: Claudia Kitterman FBLL President 4:30 Thursday UG Student Union. The review did nothing.
I glanced to the tables again. At one, a young woman sat, totally absorbed in scrawling notes as she pored over a thick textbook. She did not look like the president of anything—including her own fan club. At another, two males conversed while they sorted and stacked their books and papers. They perhaps boasted some underdeveloped presidential qualities, but still, neither of them looked at all like a Claudia.
Then, my eyes traveled once more to the dreaded inevitability, my fate. In the far corner of the union, two small tables had been shoved together, and seven people gathered around, laughing, talking, completely oblivious to anyone but themselves. History told me they were the pretty people, the kind who made school a living hell, the kind who looked down their noses at me with utter disdain. Maybe they didn’t. They probably didn’t. But it always felt as though they did.
And now! Now, I had to walk to that table teeming with them and ask which one had an appointment with me. Shit! The sheer idea of that made me want to turn tail and run, stopping somewhere along the way to retch the swarm of butterflies from my stomach. Deep breath!
After a bit of stealthy scrutiny, I decided my meeting had to be with the short-haired blond. Yeah, she looked like a president … of something. Okay, maybe they all did.
A panicky peek at my watch informed me I was now four minutes late. I cleared my throat, braced myself, and trudged like a trooper to the table.
“Claudia Kitterman?” I croaked and immediately castigated myself for sounding as inept and as intimidated as I felt. The instantaneous wave of laughter from them did not help, and even though I knew it was probably nothing more than coincidence, heat overtook my face.
Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10 will be officially released January 4 in ebook with paperback to follow shortly thereafter.
However…
After some tense negotiations with the powers that be and a fat man in a red sooty suit… The DWD (that’s us) get to pre-release the bugger to all those who have been waiting so impatiently for it (that’s you). Yep, the ebook will be released Wednesday morning in our bookstore. And to say Merry Christmas and thanks for loving us the way you do (blush), we’ve got a coupon that’ll get you the ebook at half price. Just enter “MerryHighFive” during checkout before the year ends, and viola, it’s a cheap Christmas with the DWD.
We really do appreciate you, and we hope you have a merry Christmas (or a damn good Friday if you don’t celebrate). And here’s to an incredible new year for all of us (hold the champagne for me, thanks).
Yep, it is! What a ride it has been!
Likely title: Likely Suspects
Blurb: The crew goes traveling … all the way back to 1930. Suddenly, they are strangers, supposedly spending a nice relaxing weekend at the mayor’s mansion. But something sinister hangs in the air. It’s a whodunit as only the DWD could do it.
The blessed cover:
Finally, I got a hold of Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10’s second chapter. It has been very slow going. Apparently, the author has a life and responsibilities aside from us. Can you believe it?
If you haven’t read Chapter 1, please do so first, right here. People who read things out of order simply drive the author nuts.
Filled with apprehension, we stood in the study and watched Girl Friday take a leisurely stroll to a cabinet between two built-in bookshelves. She put her hand in her pocket to retrieve what ended up being a key. Then, she unlocked the cabinet door. A few seconds later, she turned around, holding … holding … Bimbo Babe! Damn, I was happy to see her, as Claudia and I had been forced to relinquish her a few days prior. Little did I know she’d be a kept woman, under lock and key in a frickin’ wall.
Girl Friday set her on the desk, and as she jiggled, it became obvious that Bimbo Babe was not quite herself.
"We dressed her up for the occasion," she declared. "She looks pretty damn good, huh?"
We all leaned in, and I admit: I feared another lopsided spectacle. Instead, I noted that she simply wore a gaudy diamond necklace, just as Alison did. Between jiggles, it madly glinted. Livable, I thought, at least until the hoopla began.
Since Laura is a DWD, we’ll give her kudos for solving a rather nasty case in Corpse Call. Her 3rd mystery is out, and I must say, I learned a lot about her.
You’ll recognize me, Claudia’s beautiful face, and, of course, no McCallister moment would be complete without Holly. You’ll even get to find out what I was up to that caused a far too close visit from the abyss for Claudia and me.
If you’re a busybody like me or just happen to like lesbian mysteries, you’ll want to click that link in the left menu, *PDF Excerpts*, for a sample.
Cool! The ebook version of Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 8 has been released. You can find it here in PDF, Microsoft Reader, and a DRM-free Mobipocket.
And as a perk to DWD blog readers… Use coupon code b12ae090c0 during checkout, and they’ll hack 20% off the price. Not a bad deal at all. That’s enough to buy a cheap bad cup of coffee to keep your brain alert whilst you read the bugger.
Merry c-word to you all!
