Greedy Squatters

The Squatter chicks have won the attention and words of our author. Squatter 3 is an official first draft, and she’s already working on the edit. Can you hear the spittly sound of ten raspberries?

Thief that I am, here’s the first of frickin’ forty-two chapters.


Chapter 1

With a grunt of triumph, Trinity MacNeil heaved a large bundle of tomato plants into the fire pit, being careful not to smother the flames. She grabbed a straggler from the wagon beside her and threw it in, as well. 

While the plants had already been victims of the season’s killer frost, they were nowhere dead enough to be consumed by the flames. Rather, the intense heat first had to desiccate them, and then it could slowly turn them to ash.

She watched for several minutes, and finally satisfied the fire would continue without her intervention, she pulled her wagon back to the garden.

The late October morning had been brisk, but now that it neared noon, the sun had managed to raise the temperature to the unseasonable upper 50s. Deeming her blue sweatshirt unnecessary, she pulled it off and tossed it to the ground just as her cellphone sounded. Recognizing the tone, she excitedly lunged to its spot on the lawn.

Continue reading Greedy Squatters

EmailShare

Happy NBLD

NBLD? What the hell is that? A bad sandwich? A natural blond’s license plate? A refusal to allow bald people to exist?

Okay, so it’s National Book Lovers Day. We could be cheesy and put it all together. It’s a day to take your favorite natural blond fictional character out for a bad sandwich and keep her away from bald people. We could, but we won’t. Simply kiss your favorite LAC book and be done with it.

We are not in the book loving mood anyway. Those damn Squatter chicks have siphoned more than 100,000 from this reservoir of writer words in here. Meaning, she’ll run out, or perhaps worse, we’ll get stuck with the dregs. Let us hope she gets a refill soon, and those other two stop being so damn greedy.

EmailShare

Losers

The Squatter chicks are winning the word war in the author’s head. They’ve got a whopping 88,000 while we’re bored as hell—and feeling rather neglected—with a piddling 15,000. Our only hope is that Squatter 3 is almost frickin’ done and she’ll want to let it sit for awhile before even reading the first draft. If she dives right into editing mode, we are, seriously, going to either revolt or hire a ghost writer. Except, that’s kind of what she is right now. How revolting! Damn Squatter chicks!

EmailShare

No Mo’ NaNoWriMo

The author checked out of Camp this morning, a day early, with 50,104 words.

Who won, though? Okay, other than her.

Seems the Squatter chicks benefited the most, getting more than frickin’ half. We pretty much got the rest of it, and at the moment, we are not complaining.

She’s going to get the individual files from the big NaNo file into their respective manuscripts and see how much of a mess she made. We’re hoping that once the dust clears, she wants to work on our book, but then, again, maybe it’s better if she just gets the Squatter chicks out of her system.

Either way, we have words!

EmailShare

Snippets

She’s nearing 25,000 and working on our book! A couple of snippets…

Payback isn’t a bitch. You are. Shut the hell up!

Maybe it’s a lesbian-only thing, but I have always firmly believed that anyone who uses “ejaculate” to describe speech should be drown in a vat of it.

Business as usual, hey?

EmailShare

NaNo-ing No-Nos

Our author is already 10,000 words into this month’s Camp NaNoWriMo. Unfortunately, for us anyway, all those words belong to the Squatter crew and a new kid on the block. We are, however, on the agenda, and our digits remain crossed. Maybe we should start the “Dykes Who Dare” chant we did at Crappie Cabin. Except, that could make her cross. Patience. Patience. Not our strong suit.

EmailShare

Dangerous Ground

So, the author finishes reading all our books, understandably freaks over some mistakes, and passes them on to the powers-that-be. She goes back to work on LAC 22, and we are happy campers.

Except…

She gets a reminder that Camp NaNoWriMo is set to begin on April 1st—yes, the day of fools. She signs up, and she thinks in that month she can blaze through the rest LAC 22 and 22.5. Again, we are happy campers.

Except…

She reads the shit about plotters versus by-the-seat-of-the-pansters, and she berates herself for sucking in the novel outline department. So, she puts writing LAC 22 on hold, signs up for a class on novel outlining, and begins trying to outline our book. Still, we are happy campers.

Except…

She decides we are too unruly to ever abide by an outline. So, she frickin’ starts a whole frickin’ new project! Yessiree, Bub. She makes characters, a world, does research, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. We are not happy campers anymore.

Except…

The project idea needs time to incubate in her weird-ass writer brain, she believes, and may even require the use of a pen name. Too, too much to think about in the middle of a class. Sooooo… She whips out Squatter 3, which she set aside to give us her undivided attention. Her outline grows and grows and grows, and she now has more words in the outline than she has written in the book. We are so not happy campers.

Except…

We are flailing our arms in her brain, which has got to be distracting— and, let’s face it, painful. We are being as frickin’ obnoxious as we can be, which I’m sure you know we are quite exceptional at doing. The clock ticks its way to month’s end.

Which book shall prevail?

For the hundred thousandth time in our history with you, we beseech: Cross your frickin’ fingers!

EmailShare

Writer Rightly Reading Right Now. R U?

The author severely lost her way in writing LAC 22. After wiping her cranial blood off the all-too-familiar brick wall, she made a getaway. She’s holed up in a cabin with every single LAC book and a whole lotta coffee. Yep, she’s having a reading marathon. LAC Immersion Therapy: How can we object to that?

Well, actually, we can on one point.

We think that for this to truly work, you all need LAC Immersion Therapy! Get out your books and frickin’ read with her. Seriously! Start with Scavengers and keep going—no matter how long it takes you.

If you’re not with the LAC program yet, we’ll even give you a kickstart. You can get the LAC Series Starter Pack, which contains the first three books, for free. Just head over here and use coupon code LAC-athon during checkout. The coupon is good for the rest of the month. Oh, and, if you already have the books, please pass on the code to someone in need of Immersion Therapy.

Read on, Writer! Read on, Readers!

EmailShare

Greetings, Non-Fictional Characters

No, we have not fallen off the face of the earth, although it was touch-and-go there for a spell.

The author has three books in the works—okay, “in the works” as in “chug, chug chug,” but still. Two are ours. The other one belongs to the Squatter chicks, but I think the DWD will get to ride in the front seat. (Can you say “packed like sardines”?)

Anyway, she’s plotting, writing, and doing all-around elf-y things. Life goes on—for her, for us, and we sure as hell hope for you, too.

EmailShare