Okay, I swiped Chapter 1 from the book that still does not have a title. It is not final draft, but we’ll make that our own little secret.

At the end of your reading, you will find, as promised, a link to the telltale, mood-setting music.

Chapter 1

“Kate! Quit arguing, honey, and just pull over!”

Jesus, I hated it went things went wrong before a Lesbian Adventure Club weekend had even officially begun.

“Fine,” I barked at her. I slowed far too quickly and lurched into a convenience store’s parking lot. I shoved the car into park, saying, “I really don’t think I was driving that badly.”

“Honey, you always think you drive okay without shoes on.”

That’s because I frickin’ do, Claudia! But, I shut my mouth, even going so far as to resist the urge to point out how poorly I could have driven had I been wearing three-foot-long clown shoes. Regardless, and for the record—the DWD record, not the DMV record—I was not a bad driver. Granted, I was not as overly cautious as she was, and okay, I had somewhat of a lead foot … whose weight was a hell of a lot harder to gauge without a shoe at the weigh-in.

She unbuckled her seatbelt, twisted around, and came pretty damn close to sliding right into the backseat. I thought to help her but proved able to rein in my inner scoundrel just in time. I was already starting out the day on the wrong foot, and I desperately needed it to start out on the right one. Sock, clown, lead: It didn’t matter which. It just mattered that it did, and my testy attitude was not helping.

So, I distracted myself: I stared at her butt. While that normally would have been a good thing, a splendid thing, I instead found myself wondering how I ever convinced her that the gaudy plaid did not make her butt look bigger. Truth be told, it did. I was sure it was not anywhere near the grotesque proportions she believed, but, yes, gaudy plaid widened her load. Still, it was a damn glorious thing to behold, and I felt better.

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The author tends to get a song stuck in her head for each book she writes. This one wormed its way into her head for Sutures. Okay, it kind of wormed its way into our heads, too, but I think I’d like it better with the title “DWD Tree.” Although, a DWD Tree is a Family Tree, huh?

And we need to know this why, Kate?

Because the one for LAC 14 is very telltale, very mood-setting.

And the LAC 14 song is, Kate?

Jesus, did Laura teach you interrogation techniques or something? I will tell you the song when Chapter 1 is fit to be swiped and posted … sometime next year. Just quit your complaining and enjoy Sutures and the song until then.

Okay, that post title sounds horrid … unless you happen to know that Book 13 is Sutures. Since you’re hanging out at the DWD blog, it’s probably safe to assume that you do.

Anyway, the ebook will be unofficially released tomorrow. You can get it in the LAC bookstore. The paperback will be officially released in January 2012.

There’s a link over yonder to the sample chapters. The book cover is below. Click it for the big one.

And, between you and me… She lopped off the epilogue she had nearly finished, claiming it was nonessential to the story. However, it’s essential to me, so I will see what I can do about getting her to finish it. She should hand it over to you as an outtake if nothing else.

While Sutures will be getting an official 2012 release date, the author has been busting butt to get it ready. She’s hoping to release it unofficially to you chomping-at-the-bit ones before Christmas. I’m figuring this Thursday or Friday. Check back with your little DWD elves to find out for certain.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post for this author-gone-berserk news alert…

The author was promised a prize and some time off if/when she won NaNoWriMo. As you know, she did. (And, yes, she did indeed galumph.)

What prize did she pick? We’re embarrassed to say. Okay, maybe not. She bought a remote control Flying F-Word. We kid you not. See for yourself.

Too much time on her hands? Oh yeah, we think so. And why the hell would she use our books as a landing pad?

Needless to say, we think she needs to get back to work.

Check out the progress bar over there! She got the goal with two days to spare.

Laura’s in cop mode in here. “Roz, just back away from the tequila bottle.” I know, that sounds worse than it is. Laura has a tendency to overreact sometimes. (Think demented teapot song.) I think Roz was just after the bottle for something to drool into. She looks a little ragged and forgets to swallow.

But still, we made it, all in one piece. I would just like to mention (ahem) that it was Laura and I who got her to the goal today. We went totally off her blessed storyboard and took her for a ride. It was truly a barrel of laughs.

We’ll keep wiping the spittle off her chin, and when her color returns, we’ll get her moving on putting Sutures in order.

Twenty-five days under the belt.

Five days left for 6,458 more words.

She thought that after having gotten this far, she’d be all ready to galumph to the finish line. I figure it’s more like the tortoise and the hare thing, though. A tortare or a hartoise for all you portmanteau fans and/or haters, and, um, mixing Aesop and Carroll would render Aerroll or Carrsop.

Anyway, what the hell was I saying? … Oh yeah! She’s got the cockiness of a hare, but trust me, she’s moving like a tortoise. I’d say it’s time to drop kick the tortoise, but the vegan would probably kill me and feed me to all the turkeys she saved from having dressing shoved up their behinds yesterday.

Can you tell I’m tired? Overworked? Underpaid? Jesus, can we please just stop this?

This is day 22 of 30, and she hits 39,000 words. Eight more days to go to get 11,000 more words. She’s losing steam, and we’re frickin’ tired.

But hey, we’re almost to Chapter 5 in LAC 14, which still doesn’t have a title. I’m thinking: Lie Down, Lay Back, Let’s Drink, Lemme Go, Lemme NaNoWriNoMo.