Category Archives: Lesbian Adventure Club fiction

LAC 11 Chapter 1

Okay, I’ve been flirting with kleptomania again, but at the rate Roz is going, I didn’t see much choice. May posting it is serve as a firecracker up the literary buttocks.

 

Chapter 1

“Just get out!”

“Seriously?”

“You’re just going to dump us here?”

“Get out before the light turns green!” From the passenger seat, she thrust a white bag at Susan and directed, “Give this bag to Dolores.”

“Dolores who?”

“Dolores! Now get out! The light’s going to turn!”

Stupefied, we did as instructed. Although it would have been simple not to do so, defying Ginny ranked right up there with playing in traffic. If you valued life, there were some things you just didn’t do.

The window lowered, and her head craned out. “It’s supposed to be a beautiful day. Enjoy it! But for Pete’s sake, behave yourselves!”

And the blue van sped off. It didn’t appear to be shaking with laughter, but still, I figured it was.

It was barely nine-thirty on a Saturday morning, a Lesbian Adventure Club day, and there we were: dumped at a stoplight under a highway overpass on the city’s outskirts.

We gaped down the street until the van disappeared from sight.

Laura queried, “Did you ever notice how they always get rid of us?”

As custom dictated, we exchanged inquisitively pissy glances.

“Yeah, last time they had us running all over town.”

“Backwards!”

“Yeah, and the time before that, they had us running all over the county.”

“You’re right, babe.”

“They don’t like us very much, do they?”

All eyes, all hanging jaws aimed again down the van-less street.

“All right, so what do we do?”

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Dykes Who Dare to Time-Travel

We are back, having survived a trip ten years back in time. The author has finished writing what most of you deem “how the nerd got the cheerleader.” She has rewrites to do, but hopefully in early May, it will be fit for public consumption. Then, we can pick up where we left off in LAC 11.

In the meantime, the first chapter follows…

Chapter 1

Shit!

In my mind, the word possessed enough volume to put my every nerve ending on high alert.

I made another study of the paper I held, as though it would somehow alter the moment: Claudia Kitterman FBLL President 4:30 Thursday UG Student Union. The review did nothing.

I glanced to the tables again. At one, a young woman sat, totally absorbed in scrawling notes as she pored over a thick textbook. She did not look like the president of anything—including her own fan club. At another, two males conversed while they sorted and stacked their books and papers. They perhaps boasted some underdeveloped presidential qualities, but still, neither of them looked at all like a Claudia.

Then, my eyes traveled once more to the dreaded inevitability, my fate. In the far corner of the union, two small tables had been shoved together, and seven people gathered around, laughing, talking, completely oblivious to anyone but themselves. History told me they were the pretty people, the kind who made school a living hell, the kind who looked down their noses at me with utter disdain. Maybe they didn’t. They probably didn’t. But it always felt as though they did.

And now! Now, I had to walk to that table teeming with them and ask which one had an appointment with me. Shit! The sheer idea of that made me want to turn tail and run, stopping somewhere along the way to retch the swarm of butterflies from my stomach. Deep breath!

After a bit of stealthy scrutiny, I decided my meeting had to be with the short-haired blond. Yeah, she looked like a president … of something. Okay, maybe they all did.

A panicky peek at my watch informed me I was now four minutes late. I cleared my throat, braced myself, and trudged like a trooper to the table.

“Claudia Kitterman?” I croaked and immediately castigated myself for sounding as inept and as intimidated as I felt. The instantaneous wave of laughter from them did not help, and even though I knew it was probably nothing more than coincidence, heat overtook my face.

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Likely Suspects Release

Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10 will be officially released January 4 in ebook with paperback to follow shortly thereafter.

However…

After some tense negotiations with the powers that be and a fat man in a red sooty suit… The DWD (that’s us) get to pre-release the bugger to all those who have been waiting so impatiently for it (that’s you). Yep, the ebook will be released Wednesday morning in our bookstore. And to say Merry Christmas and thanks for loving us the way you do (blush), we’ve got a coupon that’ll get you the ebook at half price. Just enter “MerryHighFive” during checkout before the year ends, and viola, it’s a cheap Christmas with the DWD.

We really do appreciate you, and we hope you have a merry Christmas (or a damn good Friday if you don’t celebrate). And here’s to an incredible new year for all of us (hold the champagne for me, thanks).

 

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Closer, Closer, Closer

In our quest for DWD world domination, we have made great strides!

We have our own bookstore! LesbianAdventureClub.com will get you access to our ebooks and paperbacks. The ebooks over there have a few additional formats: ePub, eReader, and Rocket. You can order paperbacks, autographed or untouched.

The bookstore also has an affiliate program, meaning you can earn some coffee money sending people over there. Send enough, and well, you could afford to buy Crappie Cabin.

We have our own publishing imprint. Yep, the powers that be gave us Don’t Waste Daylight. Wonder where the hell they got that idea. 🙄  Still, it’s pretty damn cool.

So, yes, awesome strides, but what I really wanna know: Where the hell is the rest of LAC 10? Stomp your feet, people! Get Roz on the writer ball!

 

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Contraband 4: LAC 10 Chapter 4

Funny how the author writes mysteries but isn’t alert enough to see me swipe the chapters she completes. You’d think she’d pay attention a bit better. Lucky for you guys, that is not the case. Below is Chapter 4 from the still unfinished, still untitled Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10.

Chapter 4

I lowered the paper to my side and fully expected laughter or maybe some comedic concern for the detained delinquent duo. But, this was a mystery, and that meant I had no frickin’ clue what was up and what was down.

A moment of stuporous silence passed before the room shook.

"Out on bail? Out on bail?" Gertie shrieked. "What the hell did you do, Kris?"

"I didn’t do anything," she loudly defended. Her face sported a red-hot hue.

The detective apparently detected a ding in the defense. "All right, what did Dr. Amah Fraud do?"

"Um…" Red turned crimson. "Experiments," she admitted with shame that did not at all seem feigned.

Shovel dug deeper, "What kind of experiments?"

Amah hemmed and hawed before admitting, "Experiments … um … on children … testing the effects of stress on children." Nervously, she shifted her legs and rubbed her forehead. "I really don’t like this game."

In perfect synch, hands darted to cover mouths and keep the laughter from escaping.

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Contraband 3: LAC 10 Chapter 3

I am not the most inconspicuous of thieves. I barely escaped with my life this time. And trust me, a few backspaces by the author and I do indeed cease to exist.

You all owe me BIG for nabbing the Chapter 3 of the still unfinished, still untitled Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10!

If you need a recap or aren’t up to speed yet, Chapter 1 is here, Chapter 2 is here, and Chapter 3 is below.

 

Chapter 3

As Clyde uncorked the cognac, my eyes did a circuit of the room for the thirtieth time. Convinced I had overlooked neither the obvious nor the obscure, I conceded that Alberta had wordlessly taken leave. Maybe she needed the bathroom. Maybe she went screaming down the street in pursuit of Earl. Maybe she had a severe aversion to cognac. Maybe I had no clue where she had gone. The best I could do was trust they hadn’t turned her into a corpse; I would not have liked that, fiction or not. Kidnapping crossed my mind, and I promptly decided I didn’t want to entertain that idea either. I resolved to give her five minutes before my busybody self embarked on a mission of making sure nothing was wrong.

Soon, Clyde got to me, and I outstretched our glasses. "Easy on this one, Clyde," I said, wobbling the goblet in my left hand.

Knowingly, he nodded. "Best to stay sober in this situation," he recommended with a smile that upturned but one side of his mouth.

As he leaned closer to pour, I quietly inquired, "Do you know what’s going on, Denny?"

He shook his head. "They wouldn’t trust us. They said telling Noelle was the same as telling Holly, and telling Holly… Well, you get the idea." He finished pouring and added, "Good luck, Kate." Then he moved on to Joan, and the two of them started chatting up a sibling storm.

I eased back into my spot on the couch and took a sip of the amber beverage, far from amused when my throat burned closed and threatened to refuse entry. Finally, I successfully swallowed.

Nearly watering, my eyes scanned again, and this time, I saw Alberta. With an incredibly cocky smile, she sauntered through the room, took a seat next to me, and proceeded to bob a tea bag in the cup she held.

Curious as hell, I took a whiff. "Earl!" I gasped. When she smugly nodded, I asked, "Where the hell did you find him?"

"I didn’t find him," she quietly replied. "I found my connections." She snickered and tilted close enough to whisper, "I have enough tea bags stashed in my bra for the entire weekend."

"In your bra?" I whisper-shrieked. "You let Earl in your bra?"

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Contraband 2: LAC 10 Chapter 2

Finally, I got a hold of Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10’s second chapter. It has been very slow going. Apparently, the author has a life and responsibilities aside from us. Can you believe it?

If you haven’t read Chapter 1, please do so first, right here. People who read things out of order simply drive the author nuts.

 

Chapter 2

Filled with apprehension, we stood in the study and watched Girl Friday take a leisurely stroll to a cabinet between two built-in bookshelves. She put her hand in her pocket to retrieve what ended up being a key. Then, she unlocked the cabinet door. A few seconds later, she turned around, holding … holding … Bimbo Babe! Damn, I was happy to see her, as Claudia and I had been forced to relinquish her a few days prior. Little did I know she’d be a kept woman, under lock and key in a frickin’ wall.

Girl Friday set her on the desk, and as she jiggled, it became obvious that Bimbo Babe was not quite herself.

"We dressed her up for the occasion," she declared. "She looks pretty damn good, huh?"

We all leaned in, and I admit: I feared another lopsided spectacle. Instead, I noted that she simply wore a gaudy diamond necklace, just as Alison did. Between jiggles, it madly glinted. Livable, I thought, at least until the hoopla began.

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Contraband: First Chapter of LAC 10

Ha! Now that I’ve learned the layout of the author’s office a bit better, it did not take much effort to swipe the first chapter of the as-yet-unnamed, nowhere-near-complete Lesbian Adventure Club Book 10. Jesus, you guys are enjoying August while we’re still freezing our butts off in February. The author needs to write faster, huh?

Chapter 1

Etiquette: I think I skipped that class. Do I tip the guy or not? It wasn’t as though he served coffee or anything. No, he just stared at me in the rearview mirror. Screw the tip.

I shoved the fare at him, offered my thanks, and slipped out the taxicab’s door and into the dark, cold February evening. It all felt odd, very, very odd.

I zipped up the front walkway and put the doorknocker to good use. I always had a fondness for knockers. Well, two I could fondly recall anyway. Jesus, shut up, Kate! Well, I was nervous: I rationalized. Desperate to calm myself and stay warm, I bounced on the balls of my feet.
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5-Star Review for LAC 7

Yeeha! The seventh book, Scraps, got a 5-star review over on Rainbow Reviews.

There’s a link to the review in the menu to your left. I hope you’ll read it. Scraps was a toughie for me, so although the review has good things to say, I don’t like reading it. No throat demon for this chick.

However, how could a girl not blush with gratitude for being referred to as “well developed”? 😳

 

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Did I just accidentally steal that?

There I was, hanging out at the author’s desk, waiting, waiting, waiting. Bored, I started snooping. Curdling lattes. Reading glasses. Bottle caps. My biography. Antacids. (No connection to the biography, I’m sure.) Oh, what’s this? First-draft first chapter of Lesbian Adventure Club Book 9! Holy shit, the mother lode! … Hmm, tentatively titled Spiders. That’ll do. That’ll do. It had to be an S-word, and a mighty fine one it is.

It’s not really stealing if it has your name on it, is it? Nah!

 

Chapter 1

What the hell?

"Oh, for Christ’s sake!"

"Holy shit! Holy frickin’ shit!"

Claudia shoved the car into park, and we just stared at it.

It was a Lesbian Adventure Club weekend. Those were generally good things, splendid things, but when our hostesses were none other than Holly and Laura, apprehension tended to overwhelm the usual excitement. Sitting in front of their house on a subzero January morning, I realized not one iota of that apprehension had been wasted. Oh, hell no.

With my jaw hanging, I looked to Claudia and found her in the same state of shock. My head turned back to the front of their house just to see it once more. I figured that maybe if I blinked it would not be there upon the eyelid grand opening. Three times, I tried. Three times, I failed.

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