All posts by Kate Sutter

About Kate Sutter

Kate Sutter, narrator extraordinaire of the Lesbian Adventure Club book series

LAC 11 Chapter 2

Ha! Roz looked away, and I nabbed Chapter 2. May posting this one serve as dynamite up the literary buttock. Although, she did finally write the line that opened the door to the next leg of our journey. We are on the move once again.

 

Chapter 2

Fifteen minutes later, we slid into the huge corner booth at Stacked. The word “coffee” resounded seven times, and Earl’s name tagged along for the ride to the waitress’ order pad. Claudia’s hand came to rest on my thigh, and I placed my own over hers. At least for the moment, life proved good.

We studied the menu, mindful to stay on gift-certificate budget, in case the game came down to that ten bucks I had been foolish enough to dwindle.

Soon, the waitress returned with several carafes. The word “pancakes” resounded seven times, and “tofu scramble” hitchhiked without incident.

Coffee was poured, and we drifted into an agreeable silence. Collectively, we seemed to insist the occasion was ordinary, that we were not in the clutches of riddling professors—clutches so tight they could have strangled our reality, if we let them. Yet, all the while, everyone’s eyes flitted among the many patrons in that restaurant, no doubt looking for the pawn we were certain was there to give us a clue. With my back to the room, I did my spying via the massive mirror on the wall, and not a damn thing caught my attention.

When the food arrived, we intently ate, again appearing as though we hadn’t a care in the world. Once sated, we quickly stacked our dishes and slid them to the outside of the table, and a perceptive busboy appeared and took them away. Seconds later, the waitress showed up with more coffee. She placed the bill tray on the table, which Laura, holder of the almighty gift certificate, immediately pulled in her own direction.

Daring to hurl us back to Ginny and Kris’ world, Janice asked, “Anybody have any idea what we’re up against?”

“Chess.”

Through the Looking-Glass.”

“Both.”

“First, I think we have to figure out how to make the map into a chessboard,” Maggie said and tossed the thing in my direction.

I agreed and spread out the map on the table. “Does anybody have a pencil?”

A few affirmed possession and seized purses, but Janice loudly said, “You might do best to use mine. My instructions said to bring a notebook and a pencil. No flippin’ clue why, but here it is.”

A toss and a roll brought me the pencil. A stretch and a tilt brought seven surveyors with a keen interest in a hometown that suddenly felt foreign.

“Grant Avenue and Lancaster Street,” I said with an eventual stab. “We’re here.” I drew an X on the spot. “This is e1.”

“So are the chessboard squares buildings or blocks or what?”

Laura quickly rattled off the other businesses on the block, six in all, and it seemed obvious we weren’t talking buildings.

“Shit, it is blocks.”

“City blocks.”

“Eight city blocks by eight city blocks.”

“Sixty-four blocks? You’ve got to be kidding!”

“We can’t walk sixty-four blocks! We’ll die.”

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LAC 11 Chapter 1

Okay, I’ve been flirting with kleptomania again, but at the rate Roz is going, I didn’t see much choice. May posting it is serve as a firecracker up the literary buttocks.

 

Chapter 1

“Just get out!”

“Seriously?”

“You’re just going to dump us here?”

“Get out before the light turns green!” From the passenger seat, she thrust a white bag at Susan and directed, “Give this bag to Dolores.”

“Dolores who?”

“Dolores! Now get out! The light’s going to turn!”

Stupefied, we did as instructed. Although it would have been simple not to do so, defying Ginny ranked right up there with playing in traffic. If you valued life, there were some things you just didn’t do.

The window lowered, and her head craned out. “It’s supposed to be a beautiful day. Enjoy it! But for Pete’s sake, behave yourselves!”

And the blue van sped off. It didn’t appear to be shaking with laughter, but still, I figured it was.

It was barely nine-thirty on a Saturday morning, a Lesbian Adventure Club day, and there we were: dumped at a stoplight under a highway overpass on the city’s outskirts.

We gaped down the street until the van disappeared from sight.

Laura queried, “Did you ever notice how they always get rid of us?”

As custom dictated, we exchanged inquisitively pissy glances.

“Yeah, last time they had us running all over town.”

“Backwards!”

“Yeah, and the time before that, they had us running all over the county.”

“You’re right, babe.”

“They don’t like us very much, do they?”

All eyes, all hanging jaws aimed again down the van-less street.

“All right, so what do we do?”

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Musings

My cerebral dictionary/thesaurus says…

muse:

be absorbed in thought

Muse:

1. (in Greek and Roman mythology) each of nine goddesses, the daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who preside over the arts and sciences, 2. a woman, or a force personified as a woman, who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist

bemuse:

puzzle, confuse, or bewilder

amuse:

provide interesting and enjoyable occupation for

Putting it all together like a good little reporter…

A writer who has misplaced her Muse often muses on the meaning of life and ends up puzzled, confused, or bewildered. The characters of this writer are not in the least bit amused.

If a muse is a woman who is the source of inspiration, you have frickin’ ten of ’em inside your twitching skull, Roz! And I’m sure Noelle would be more than willing to kick in, too. Quit looking out there for something you already have in here. Our lifeblood, the stuff that makes us walk and talk and high-five.

We tried to help in the past few months … albeit in our DWD way. Sometimes, we were quiet, and that’s saying a lot. Sometimes, we created storms in your head. Sometimes, we were content taking a breather of our own. (You can be one hell of a taskmaster.) Sometimes, we moved ahead, figuring you were stubborn enough to catch up. Sometimes, we fed you ideas. Okay, and then once, we took you on a big-ass tangent with riveting scenes from a book that doesn’t yet exist. But they were good scenes, weren’t they, Roz? Your little fingers typed so fast, urged on by that creative fire you swore someone snuffed out. That was inspiration … because you can’t stand to see any one of us hurt, because you’ll keep plugging away until we’re all okay again.

Well, writer, we are not okay. We are stuck downtown on Elm Street, waiting for you to write the words that will open the door on that little shop that leads to the next leg of our journey. We’re waiting … sometimes patiently, sometimes not … nearing the home stretch of LAC 11.

If you’re tired, we can deal with that. Sit back. Put up your feet. Have a swig of my coffee. (Be careful of Laura germs.) I’m sure Claudia can find a cookie to go with it. Ginny can holler at you. Kris can tell you to do whatever is healthiest for you. Maggie can make you tofu. (Sit back down, writer!) Susan can show off her new ebook reader. Janice has magic fingers. Alison can show you duck poses. And Holly can make you trip out over all the little things that inspire her so. We’ve got you covered.

And when you’re ready, just open the door on that little shop in downtown Granton.

P.S. In case our do-gooder stuff doesn’t frickin’ inspire you, let it be known: We’ve been having quite the conversations in here with someone named Millicent Baylor. She’s got all sorts of ideas about what a character can do to her writer in order to get what she wants. Very interesting. šŸ˜‰

 

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Dykes Who Dare to Time-Travel

We are back, having survived a trip ten years back in time. The author has finished writing what most of you deem “how the nerd got the cheerleader.” She has rewrites to do, but hopefully in early May, it will be fit for public consumption. Then, we can pick up where we left off in LAC 11.

In the meantime, the first chapter follows…

Chapter 1

Shit!

In my mind, the word possessed enough volume to put my every nerve ending on high alert.

I made another study of the paper I held, as though it would somehow alter the moment: Claudia Kitterman FBLL President 4:30 Thursday UG Student Union. The review did nothing.

I glanced to the tables again. At one, a young woman sat, totally absorbed in scrawling notes as she pored over a thick textbook. She did not look like the president of anything—including her own fan club. At another, two males conversed while they sorted and stacked their books and papers. They perhaps boasted some underdeveloped presidential qualities, but still, neither of them looked at all like a Claudia.

Then, my eyes traveled once more to the dreaded inevitability, my fate. In the far corner of the union, two small tables had been shoved together, and seven people gathered around, laughing, talking, completely oblivious to anyone but themselves. History told me they were the pretty people, the kind who made school a living hell, the kind who looked down their noses at me with utter disdain. Maybe they didn’t. They probably didn’t. But it always felt as though they did.

And now! Now, I had to walk to that table teeming with them and ask which one had an appointment with me. Shit! The sheer idea of that made me want to turn tail and run, stopping somewhere along the way to retch the swarm of butterflies from my stomach. Deep breath!

After a bit of stealthy scrutiny, I decided my meeting had to be with the short-haired blond. Yeah, she looked like a president … of something. Okay, maybe they all did.

A panicky peek at my watch informed me I was now four minutes late. I cleared my throat, braced myself, and trudged like a trooper to the table.

ā€œClaudia Kitterman?ā€ I croaked and immediately castigated myself for sounding as inept and as intimidated as I felt. The instantaneous wave of laughter from them did not help, and even though I knew it was probably nothing more than coincidence, heat overtook my face.

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Past Due

The author still has us stuck in the past as she ever so frickin’ slowly works to finish the book about Claudia and me getting together. We are in 1999 now. There’s no LAC back here, no DWD, no Crappie Cabin. There aren’t the ten of us looking to set the world on fire. And that’s Officer Laura McCallister, but unsurprisingly, she’s still a dick. And Sam? Charles? Denny? Nope.

However, there are a shitload of people back here yammering about a Y2K bug. I laugh and find myself deviously unwilling to let them know that the world does not come to a screeching halt at the stroke of midnight.

 

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Where, Oh Where

I bet you are wondering why the DWD have been so quiet lately, huh? I assure you: only in the real world, not the fictional one we enjoy.

If you promise not to tell our author, I’ll give you an update…

She’s got a title and a decent start on LAC 11. She was smart and left us in a pancake restaurant named Stacked, carafes of coffee just having been delivered. And Earl for Claudia! Jesus, don’t forget the Earl! It’s a Ginny and Kris weekend, so I am sure we will need both strength and caffeine.

Most of her time (and consequently our own) has been spent on writing the story of how Claudia and I got together. Some of you, not unlike Alison, would refer to that as “how the nerd got the cheerleader.” But after hanging out with us for ten books, you should know by now that things are not always what they appear to be. You will have to wait and see.

Anyway, the Kate Loves Claudia Saga does not yet have a title, but it’s doing pretty good in the word-count department.

As always, I will keep cracking the whip.

 

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Likely Suspects Release

Lesbian Adventure Club: Book 10 will be officially released January 4 in ebook with paperback to follow shortly thereafter.

However…

After some tense negotiations with the powers that be and a fat man in a red sooty suit… The DWD (that’s us) get to pre-release the bugger to all those who have been waiting so impatiently for it (that’s you). Yep, the ebook will be released Wednesday morning in our bookstore. And to say Merry Christmas and thanks for loving us the way you do (blush), we’ve got a coupon that’ll get you the ebook at half price. Just enter “MerryHighFive” during checkout before the year ends, and viola, it’s a cheap Christmas with the DWD.

We really do appreciate you, and we hope you have a merry Christmas (or a damn good Friday if you don’t celebrate). And here’s to an incredible new year for all of us (hold the champagne for me, thanks).

 

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