Our author, however, likes to think she is. She is working on numerous books all at the same time. A little here, a little means she’s writing, but not one of them nears book-length.

Let’s see… She has started LAC 21. She’s been working on an LAC backstory, which I’d rather she not, that would be LAC 21.5. She’s making decent headway on a sequel to Squatter. Then, there’s Laura’s fifth mystery, which has remained a mystery to her for well over a year. And, we mustn’t forget the in-the-works short story collection entitled Upend. She’s been completely baffled by its final short story that refuses to end properly. Upend could easily be her Undoing.

Let’s see… That’s 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … 5 works-in-progress, which, I guess, renders my post’s title incorrect. It should be “Authors Are Not Pentapuses,” but that sounds like a vulgar term or maybe a Bond movie played only in little booths in the back of Peter’s Palace. Okay, how about “Quintpuses?”

Maybe, for the moment, I should just leave the writing (and the poor English language) to her. Why, she’ll have pentabooks done in pentayears! No high-penta for that one.

Jesus, shut up, Kate.

Okay. Okay.